We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
