I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Randomize
