me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
foreskin is a definite game changer
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
