stop calling my apartment porn island.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
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