No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Randomize
