glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
