After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
you have to choose: penises or morals?
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
