Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
