oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Randomize
