If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize