that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
