My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
You are a genius and a whore.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
