come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
