Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Every concussion has its silver lining
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
