every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
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