At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Brb crying the tears of my youth
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Randomize
