I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
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