genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
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