1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
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