He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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