woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
