I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
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