i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Randomize