Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Randomize
