he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
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