i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
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