Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
