U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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