She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize
