Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
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