quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Randomize
