I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Did you pee in the oven last night??
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize