I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Randomize
