***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize