you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
