Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
