in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
