Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
