i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize
