Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Randomize
