Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
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