Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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