i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize
