the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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