I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Randomize
