Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Hello my rib-scented angel!
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
