Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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