someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
