i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Randomize
