My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
Randomize