Kareoke will never be a sober sport
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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