She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Randomize
