just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize