ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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