Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Randomize
