CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
worst night to have a conscience
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
