I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Dicks are not precious.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
