I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
