Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Randomize
