u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
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