I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
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