I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Randomize
